Vulnerability. And Collagen.

I haven’t blogged all summer. I have so many thoughts and so many ideas and lots to say and things to share…but I feel like I do when I go shopping sometimes: I walk into the store, LOVE ALL THE THINGS, can’t make a solid decision and end up leaving. Lack of focus? Too many pretty shiny things? I don’t know. Blogging is like that for me. I get very excited about it, LOVE ALL THE THINGS, then can’t figure out how to seriously focus. But dammit I’m going to try! And yesterday, I had the perfect reason: I walked (ran) out of Cycling class at the gym; crying, yes crying. Luckily it was dark so I was alone in my vulnerability & pathetic-ness, and all I could think about was I NEED TO BLOG THIS MOMENT! I mean OBVIOUSLY.

Why is this? Because I’m tired of seeing All The Perfection on social media. Like everyone else, I occasionally wonder, Am I the only one doing everything wrong? So I’m choosing vulnerability and imperfection for this moment. I believe I’ve been feeling more vulnerable this year. Many wonderful things have happened for me in 2019. But other things have really caused a lot of pain - both literally and figuratively. As I approach a milestone birthday, I feel like I’m figuring it all out, all over again. Didn’t we do this in our 20’s, 30’s, 40’s? Shouldn’t we (I) have it all figured out? Whatever “it” is. But I guess we never stop growing and changing in some ways. I think that’s a good thing. If we (I) don’t keep growing and changing we (I) become stagnant. Blech. I’d like to keep growing and changing for the positive, the problem is, I don’t always feel that it’s going in that direction. Do you? Does anyone?

So back to Cycling class… well back in April, I apparently destroyed my lower back (not literally, this is an exaggeration for effect, like when my husband and I were dating and I would tell him I was dehydrating and I only meant I was thirsty but he thought I had a serious dehydration problem and he stressed about it…but anyway). I was diagnosed (10 weeks later) with a bulging disc which caused nerve pain and I will say that I’d rather give birth again than have that kind of pain again in my life. (Well, mostly. Again with the exaggeration because more kids? NOPE.) “Bulging disc” does not fully portray the pain involved…it sounds kind of like I have a cute bubble in my spine. It wasn’t cute. Also, I don’t recommend picking up an 80lb dog to lift Prince Beast into the car by bending over from your side. It’s a 6-12 month recovery, I’m somewhere around 6 months, GREATLY improved. But Cycling class apparently isn’t going to happen. Much like Fetch. I stayed for half the class, in pain, and then had to leave. Why was I crying? Well it was painful for sure. Frustrated? Of course. But I was crying because of my ego. I WAS SO EMBARRASSED I HAD TO LEAVE EARLY. Everyone in the class probably thought I couldn’t hack it. NOT COOL. And that just fed into my “milestone-birthday-coming-up-I’m-trying-to-be-awesome-and-not-always-succeeding” feeling. So there you have it. Unlike what Facebook tells you and Instagram shows you, we (I) are (am) not always perfect, living our best lives. I could have just posted a “Sensitive Stacey” moment on FB and not indulged myself in this lengthy pity-party, or commanded your attention for this length of reading material, but this way you get an awesome recipe or nutritional information at the end. Or both if I’m feeling cute.

So, what am I eating for my recovery? Well, your structure (bones & tissues) requires Vitamin C to build Collagen, which in turn builds the bones & tissues. So I’ve been doing lots of C & Collagen support. I like to add a serving of Collagen Powder to my morning tea, along with Maca powder (for hormone balance, but that’s another blog post…), along with some coconut oil (also another blog post). So it’s kind of a tea-latte I’ve created. I’ve had persistent join pain in one of my feet for years and it’s virtually disappeared since I started with the collagen. Collagen and Vitamin C are great for recovery from injury or surgery. Ask me for the evidence-based studies if you’re so inclined, I’m happy to share.

Additionally I’m eating ALL the Vitamin C foods. Berries, berries, berries, radishes, radishes, peppers, cruciferous veggies…etc. I could also take a C supplement as well, but I’m not at this time.

One could also do an Anti-Inflammatory-type diet. I say “one could” because I’ve done it a bit, particularly in the flare up phase, but I wasn’t strict about and I’m not doing it now, other than eating a VERY plant-forward diet that includes green tea, spices, and herbs. And all the veggies. All of them. And oh yeah, I meet with a physical therapist because “holistic” means you take a whole body approach!

Do you have your vulnerable days? How do you deal with it? I hope you’re kind to yourself.